Tuesdays with Morrie. A beautiful book. My most favourite book of all time. And this post is one that I’ve always wanted to write about. Always at the back of my mind for many many years. Decades.
The book is about Morrie and his final few months before his passing. It contains stories and pearls of wisdoms from Mitch’s dying Professor.
Morrie was a university Professor with whom Mitch, the book author and former student, had a beautiful relationship. Mentor-mentee. Father-son. They met on Tuesdays to talk about life.
When Morrie was diagnosed with a progressive loss of muscle control–a condition known as ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis or Lou Gehrig’s disease)–Mitch took time off his busy schedule and visited his Professor.
At Morrie’s request, Mitch visited him every Tuesday. It re-kindled their friendship. However, on each visit, Mitch would find Morrie in steadily deteriorating conditions.
“Take my condition. The things I am supposed to be embarrassed about now—not being able to walk, not being able to wipe my ass, waking up some mornings wanting to cry—there is nothing innately embarrassing or shaming about them. “It’s the same for women not being thin enough, or men not being rich enough. It’s just what our culture would have you believe. Don’t believe it.”
― Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie
I think I chanced upon the book when I was working as a retail pharmacist at Watson’s Personal Care Stores in KOMTAR Penang. Around 1999-2000.
While I can’t remember exactly where I bought it, I remember it was an unassuming book. Thin, small and smelled good.
If you’re a book lover, you know what it means when a book ‘smells good’ 😉
Learning how to die…
This is one saying that has been with me all the time.
Simply because when I first read the book ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’, I couldn’t understand the significance of a particular saying that Morrie repeated to Mitch: Learn how to die, and you learn how to live.
The part that I find confusing and fascinating, at the same time, was ‘Learn how…’ At that time, my first thought was how to learn how to die…
Some people die on the spot, some people are given time to die and some people wish others to go die. Ayooo… how lah (Read this in Malaysian English accent)
Those were my thoughts back then.
Many self-help books would suggest you write a eulogy – a speech that someone close to you would read when you die – and that would help prepare oneself.
To be honest, that thought of dying was too scary. At that time. Let alone writing it. So… that saying remained at the back of my mind all the time.
Life, half-asleep
After that, I encountered the book at multiple points in my life.
The book and I crossed paths again when I was doing my sabbatical at the Institute for Glycomics, Griffith University in Gold Coast, Australia. In my late 30’s. It left a deep impression on me–but once again–I had yet understood the significance of that saying – that ‘how’.
Being on a sabbatical leave is simply like working-life on a pause button. When I returned home from the sabbatical, the academic life resumed.
Papers to write, grants and KPIs to chase, people to impress, baju kerja to choose & kena gosok, teaching to do, coursework and scripts to mark and submit before deadlines, bills to pay etc. etc. etc.
The long list of ‘things to do/accomplish’ for academic promotions and yearly appraisals. The whole work-life routines. Unbalanced routines that could give rise to ‘automated’ life-styles (sleepwalkers or zombies?)
I read the book a few more times again during that time, but I hardly had the time to sit down and think about what it meant to me.
2020: Time and Space for Reflection
Until today. I knew I had to write this post.
During the last ten days of the blessed month of Ramadan. The last few days. And during the Conditional Movement Control Order (MCO) of the coronavirus pandemic.
The pandemic that gives us the golden opportunity to slow down. To think things through and thoroughly. Whom and what are important to us and worthy of our time.
Because time is like a river – its water runs into a sea. Never look back and return to the mountains – perhaps one day – in a different form.
And no matter how strange it sounds, this difficult time provides the quiet and near-stillness surroundings. A time and space for introspection.
And The Fourth Tuesday…
I found the book tucked away on a shelf. I randomly opened the book in the middle, browsed a few pages of the dog-eared book when suddenly, my fingers stopped short on the fourth Tuesday.
It was the chapter I was looking for–without actually looking for it. It’s titled ‘We Talk about Death’. Since there are another 10 more so chapters to go in the book, once again I found it strange that they discussed death early on.
Anyway, I dived into the chapter and thought through my life events in the last four decades.
Learn how to die, and you learn how to live.
Tuesdays with Morrie
It’s clearer to me now. What Morrie meant… Everyone will reach the final point in life when the curtain is drawn to a close.
When death comes knocking? That will remain a mystery.
But once we accept this fact of life and death, like an inseparable twin, we can then work backwards. To re-define success and outcomes. To list our own KPIs. To prepare how we really want to live our lives. And not get ‘dictated’ by others.
To choose ‘routines’ and people that bring in the deepest meanings, contentment and joy to our lives.
To choose carefully.
To live life the fullest. To leave something good behind*
Or to remain half-asleep.
*For rewards in the Hereafter as believed in many faiths. In Islam, I’d like to quote the following hadith:
Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “When the human being dies, his deeds end except for three: ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge, or a righteous child who prays for him.”
#morrie #tuesdays #covid19 #lockdown #CMCO #introspection #personalstory #death #theendinmind
Thank you Prof.!
An interesting reflective note here Dr. Aisyah👍 Cogratulations👏👏👏