Keys to Unlock Yourself…

How to Unlock Yourself from …

I hardly believe I have come to this point of my career as a lecturer. Where I started to share keys to unlock oneself from the ‘prison’ that one sets up. It’s been an interesting 9-month journey–a journey into awareness and being authentic. In this first lecture on Central Nervous System, I started by asking my students to watch a goalcast video. In the video below, I then continued sharing 4 keys on how to unlock and de-stress oneself:

 

It all began with my MOOC, ACE That Presentation! and this website. In particular when I wanted to write the front page, I was wondering what 3 words could describe my MOOC? To describe the way I approach a presentation? Ace That Presentation! was coined because I believe we use presentations not just to put our ideas across in meetings or seminars but for many students and professionals, presentations can serve as a platform that enhances (or deflates) our profiles. Whether we like it or not, peers, lecturers, bosses, colleagues and students tend to judge who we are by the way we present our ideas, tasks, lectures and messages. How we engage or bore our audiences. How slides are designed and ideas shared. How well we perform in front of the crowd. And therefore we must ace a presentation to get ahead of a rat race.

That’s the initial thought. As I started thinking about the 3 words, what came spontaneously to me were: Authentic, Compelling and Engaging. In short, ACE. To engage an audience during a presentation, one can prepare a compelling story that makes use of the senses–visual, auditory and touch/movements. A compelling story will also touch the minds and hearts. In the digital age, a presenter is faced with some challenges ahead. Of note is the fight for audience’s attention, where ‘short, sweet & to the point’ seems to be favoured over traditionally long lectures or talks.

However, when it came to ‘Authentic’, I was unsure… What is an authentic presentation? Or being authentic during presentation? Is authentic=honest or sincere? What do I know about being authentic?? That got me thinking hard. Then this quote by Oscar Wilde came:

But how to be authentic? Since we are living in the world of persona and personalities. Avatars and instagrams. How do I be the ‘real me’ in front of an audience? Will the authentic self turn off the audience, so it’d be better to maintain a persona? With these questions in mind, I set off on a journey on how to be authentic during presentation. Following are some books bought on Amazon Kindle that I have perused in the recent months. These are highly recommended, if you are in the search of self.

(Fyi, the self is always with us, so do the keys. We just need to unlock the prison)

Along the way, I learned something on how to be authentic. The first one is about ego, the false self. It took us years to build our ego. It acts as one of the prisons we lock ourself in. The walls we build as years go by–consciously or unconsciously. The ‘auto filters’ we use that colour our perceptions and beliefs, which reminds me of a Richard Feynman‘s quote:

The first principle is that you must not fool yourself and you are the easiest person to fool.

When we choose to believe the ‘auto filters’, we view the world differently from others. Which is entirely okay until the filters trigger or continue to lead one into unhealthy behaviours, habits or conditions, e.g. addiction, fear, anxiety, prolonged sadness, depression, anger, self-harm, victim stories and suicidal thoughts.

Letting go of the filters, the ego can unveil your true self. Brick by brick. Wall by wall. Layers by layers.
Well, it’s not that easy. And we tend to go back and forth. One step forward, two steps back. An inner, daily struggle to pull down or dissolve the layers, bricks and walls.

Yet always, still do-able.

The Keys: Breathe-Accept-Let Go-Surrender

When I did the reading above, I did it out of personal interests. I didn’t expect that it could be of help to others… until this second semester. Normally, students would meet their supervisors/mentors to sign off their new semester course sheets and academic results. The meeting would just take 2 seconds, 2 minutes or even longer. I usually ask my mentees a few more things, just to get a sense of how they’re coping with the university life, especially the first 2 years. Life as pharmacy students here can get hectic. One gets pulled into so many directions… Time management skill is essential. ‘Me-time’ is a luxury.

This semester somehow opened up opportunities for me to connect deeper with some of my mentees. After meetings with them, I realised that I need to come out with something more practical than just superficial tips or advices. Additionally, I do realise I’m not a counsellor who is trained in dealing with complexities of a situation and personalities.

As I reflected upon my experiences and readings, these 4 ‘big guys’ came to me: Breathe, Accept, Let it go and Surrender. These are the keys to unlock yourself from the shackles of ego, unwanted thoughts, filters, perceptions and other ‘baggage’.

How to use the keys

We can start unveiling our authentic self by ‘Breathe-Accept-Let it Go-Surrender’. As I’ve mentioned in the video above, breathing is our second nature. Under stressful conditions, we tend to forget how to breath. That’s when we can start to do conscious breathing. To start connecting to our senses.

Breathe: Conscious breathing means that you slowly taking in one long breath and really feel the warm sensation rises up to your nostrils, to the brain, down to our lungs, heart and guts, and further downwards to your legs. Take in a few more breaths. As you continue with the breathing exercise, you feel more connected to self. You feel calmer and more relaxed.

Accept: Once you feel calm and aware, try to slowly accept the situation as it is. As the reality presents itself. Yes, it is not easy… Our first reactions to any undesirable situation or loss are often denial and anger, as outlined in 5 Stages of Grief, its chart and the seminal work of Dr. Kübler-Ross.

Let go: Upon accepting the situation, try to let go of any residual feelings or thoughts about it (yes, they will come and go and… come again). It’s naturally human to get attached to people, feelings, thoughts and behaviours. Old habits die hard… But when these pull you down, make you feel sick and therefore no longer serve your growth, perhaps it’s best to let the ‘baggage’ go… Be open to seasons or cycles of life. What goes up will come down. What goes around, comes around.

Surrender: So the final stage is important: Surrender the ‘baggage’ (e.g. the thoughts, the shoulds, the musts or woulds) to the universe. Re-surface to the reality, the present moment. And don’t forget to bring the pearls of wisdom with you to share with others.

In reality

Using the four keys to unlock yourself out of the ‘prison’ may take time. The more you practise, the easier it gets. From a few breaths to one deep breath. From few days to hours and down to minutes. As the saying goes, time heals. Be kind and gentle to yourself as you use each key in turn. You may use 1-2 keys more often then others, depending on your situation. Be consistent in inviting and creating the space for peace in you.

There are many paths to self-awareness, mindfulness, enlightenment and authenticity. Many share similarities. At deeper levels, many converge into One, eventually.

One of the books I love is The Surrender Experiment, My Journey into Life’s Perfection. It’s an unputdownable book. Another one, The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down: How to Be Calm and Mindful in a Fast-Paced World. Go grab them.

How does these relate to being authentic during presentation?

Coming back to being authentic during presentation, doing conscious breathing exercise before any presentations have helped me in calming my nerves down. I feel more centred and tuned in to being present with my students and audience. My mind rarely wander aimlessly, unlike before. My voice sounds clearer, with confidence. Nothing feels forced. Right words, ideas simply flow smoothly. Good energy. Great sharing. That’s when I knew–I speak from my centre, my being. I think I’d write more about this in a book. Hopefully…

Till then 😉